Well are you?
I love that scenario where you simply ask, “What do you do if zombies attack…. NOW!?”
It’s not like they are going to call you and warn you ahead of time so there’s a good chance your going to be caught with your pants down. It’s only a matter of time before this happens.
I debate the order of my zombie plans priorities constantly, but first step no question should always be secure a weapon.
Fortunately I’ve got more hammers than I know what to do with so I’m confident. I do have a pretty fearsome looking rock hammer I’ll use for some skull cracking. I’d use a gun as I have several, but to be honest I’d probably shoot myself in the foot.
What is your zombie plan?
Hmmmm the future job market sure looks appealing. Screw my studies into programing and system development, Im gonna get my Doctorate in Ass Kickin’
You cannot go wrong with a degree in Ass Kicking.
How did you know I have display swords bought at a Ren Faire? Although, I used my paycheck to buy them. The Zombie Survival Guide recommends a crow bar for your zombie fighting needs.
Because I have a couple too of course.
I’d go with the hammer. Buy a watermelon and smack it with a crow bar then a hammer, I’ll bet you the hammer has more penetration power.
A test preformed in the Carter household before the purchase of any hardware item
Whenever I purchase tools I always make sure they can do double duty at zombie weapons.
The employees at Home Depot are a little afraid of me by now. I probably shouldn’t swing shovels around screaming “DIE ZOMBIE DIE!” at the top of my lungs…. Oh well.
The hammer is more likely to get stuck in the skull of your target, making it hard to remove and use again. Also you would have to get closer to the gore, increasing the risk of accidental infection.
Longer weapons such as crowbar, bat, and so forth give greater leverage for a good swing, without being so close. An axe has the same sticking issue, but a sledge hammer might be just what the doctor ordered.
I still favor the hammer though. It has penetration power despite the risk of sticking. A bat or crowbar’s just going to knock them down, and take to long to get through the skull.
I own both an ax and a sledge hammer… way to heavy and slow. You’ll get exhausted very very quickly.
That’s why you should try to find a lighter sledge hammer to use. I’m glad I live within easy walking distance of at least two hardware stores and a K-mart that I could loot during the zombie apocalypse, no shortage of weapons or food. 🙂
I got to agree. The hammer means I got to get too close to the zombie. An axe and a sledge hammer are probably too slow. A bat sounds good. But what about machete or a shovel?
That is why I go for only the finest quality swords make by real swordsmiths. Although how my parents brought back a pair of real Japanese swords, that are not display swords and bear a real swordsmith’s mark I will never know. (They were stationed in Japan in the 60’s). Toss in 2 other swords that have been in the family for a long long time, 2 celtic broadswords. Those two, we know they are not made of iron, steel, bronze, copper, or tin but the experts that have looked at them say they are real and keep a dang good edge on them. So my swords versus your crowbar, bring on the zombies. Add in the fact that I was trained to use a sword properly, you are so going to get tired first.
For the record I was trained as a juvenile delinquent what I can do with a crowbar borders on an art form. 🙂
How about some special training. We go into the bad part of town go medieval on it sometime.
I try to never use medieval tactics in places where people have guns… Doesn’t work out well for me.
Let’s see … duct tape, gloves … all you’re missing is the white bronco. 🙂
LOL I’m old enough to remember that. That was good television.
Oh, OJ… He’s still looking for the real killer by the way.
ok now im back for good also ducktape and cheeseburgers all the way
Might I also recommend taking a peruse through http://www.coldsteel.com/swords.html for swords to hold up against the hordes.
I dont want to be a spoilsport but european swords wouldnt work good against zombies. They mostly rely on breaking bones than cutting. They might get awesome later, when they zombies have begone to slowly rot away.^^
See my argument to that would be that that is what makes them superior.
Zombies don’t care if you slice them. You have to get through that thick skull and destroy the brain.
A samurai sword is designed to open up huge gashes on people, what you really need is a skull crusher.
If you hit just right does it matter? Besides a good hatchet or a viking axe will work too.
OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!!!!!
My zombie plan if I’m at home is to load as many blunt objects and supplies as I can into a vehicle(preferably a van) and GTFO. If I’m not at home then my first priority is to get a weapon and get home so I can do the rest of my plan. If I can find one of my buddies or a hot girl who can fight(or both 😀 ) along the way then that’s just bonus points for me.
interesting that I would find this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_22yBwgyek while we are on the subject of useful zombie weapons.
That was awesome. I’ll have to post some of those up this coming week. Thanks for the find.
You’re welcome. ;D
Just loot the nearest politicians home of the lobbyist money they keep in the freezer, and then hire Xe (Blackwater) to handle all the zombies. If they can wipe out unarmed, innocent bystanders, then they should be all set to take care of zombies.
I’d probably get a weapon first, then a heavy duty Hazmat suit. Gordon Freeman style.
The Hazmat suit is a good idea. If the zombies are viral you don’t want any part of them touching you.
My buddy wants to use his chainsaw….. When he is covered in infected and rotting zombie goo I wonder how long he’s going to last… Not long I imagine.
I told him I’d happily shoot him when he’s done. It’s what friends are for.
As I see it, if you stock up on weapons, you’re stocking up on food. Cause you can kill and steal if you have a stockpile of weapons.
I don’t worry about stocking up on food, because at the first sign of trouble I’m going cannibal. 🙂
I made myself some chainmaille, and I have a fencing helmet and heavy duty gloves. I like the duct tape idea – they’ll try to pull off those protective items of clothing so stick ’em on good!
Now that stuff is heavy but you sure get fit fast lugging it about (and if you don’t get fit fast in a Zombie Apocalyspe you are going down)! Besides, you don’t just need protection from Zombies, you need protection from those idiots flailing around with axes who think you might be one!
So long as you’re on the move, a stock pile of weapons is unrealistic. First of all, any automobile is going to be so loud it’ll be a zombie magnet. Then you’ll also eventually run out of gas and be stuck in the middle of a zombie horde. In an apocalyptic situation, even using quieter vehicles until they run out of gas is not ideal, because the roads will be chaotic and jammed. Max Brookes (author of our Zombie Survival Guide) recommends use of a bike. This severely restricts the amount of weapons or supplies you can carry. For this reason a crowbar is ideal. Not only is it a tool that can help with looting, but it is one of the best anti-zombie weapons in existence because of it’s length and light weight. That and a backpack full of poptarts, beef jerky, ramen (to be eaten uncooked, of course), and a medkit is all I’d plan to carry with me on my bike, on my way out of the suburban area that I live in.
I agree with the bike option so long as we’re going on the assumption that they are slow zombies. I don’t like my chances trying to drive down the road with dead people sprinting at me from all directions on a bike.
As for the Crowbar I think it’s a great tool, but I’m still unconvinced that it is the ideal zombie weapon. I just don’t think it’s got the same skull cracking/brain destroying heft of a simple hammer.
I’ve got both, I should perform my own tests. That’s an idea.
Testing is a good idea. I suggest using a watermelon. Don’t just examine the damage on the melon though. Also take into account how much juice splashes on you. Remember, when dealing with zombies you want to avoid coming into contact with any of their fluids (as LadyBelle previously pointed out). And while I too find the idea of a hazmat suit very inspiring, it is simply outside of the realm of realistic expectations. None of us own a hazmat suit.
Good points all. Basic Kevlar vests are also very impractical for zombies as they leave your arms, neck, legs and head very exposed. I’d definitely support some sort of duct tape reinforced full body clothing or even layers of thick leathers. Unless they are super zombies they won’t be biting through anything more than you can bite through. Don’t forget about telescoping batons. They may be close to the usefulness of crowbars and are much easier to carry so I’d suggest having both.
Oddly enough, I have a telescoping baton. It’s something I picked up last time I was in Mexico. It’s pretty durable and could probably at least crack open a skull despite being only one handed. But it doesn’t have the same reach as the crowbar and not nearly the same amount of usefulness as a crowbar. I can’t imagine trying to pry open a door with a baton.
Contrary to popular belief, golf clubs are amazing weapons.
Also, skiing gear should be good enough for protection, cuz its virtually unbiteable and waterproof, protecting you from bites and infection alike.
For legwear, a pair of jeans is the way to go, and, naturally, skiing pants on top.
Also, some motorcycle suits are made from kevlar. I think it would be a great combo to put on a scuba diving suit, and then some skiing/motorcycle gear on top, and a motorcycle/bike helmet, just to be sure.
Don’t forget a pair of dishwashing rubber gloves, with worker’s gloves on top, getting bitten or scratched on the hand is a real pain, especially if you made extra effort to protect all other body parts.
Any loose clothes, should be restricted by as many belts as possible, these double as protection.
If you are missing any of said clothes, karate or judo kimonos are very resistant too, so put those over the toughest clothes you can get, except if you have skiing gear, cuz you don’t want to wear too much.
If you don’t even have that… well you’re screwed.
Thinking about it now, it seems that people in northern countries are more likely to survive.
1st, the population is lower.
2nd, more chances of finding previously described protective gear.
3rd, chances are zombies will be slower in the cold, seeing as they are missing blood flow