The Most Important Meal Of The Day
I don’t like breakfast. I don’t eat anything in the morning. Or talk to anyone. Or do anything. I wake up every single morning praying for death, nauseated, and wishing violent painful deaths on everyone around me.
Until I’ve had coffee. Then I’m happy and no longer a malicious monster ready to kill.
I’m also ready to poop! 🙂
Ah coffee! I don’t know what it is about that magical juice of the bean. But in addition to controlling my violent impulses it keeps my plumbing clean, clear, and disturbingly regular. Oh deer sweet zombie Jesus I’m so regular.
Thanks to coffee I am living proof that the idea that “Matter cannot be created or destroyed” is a lie.Because I’m pretty sure coffee makes more matter come out of me than goes in.
Take that, Science!
Well and now that you know that about me, you cannot unknow it. It is very likely we will see each other at a convention some day.
Our eyes will meet, and a silent understanding will pass between us. Both of us will look away in shared feelings of shame and mild disgust. Then I will attempt to sell you a plushie. You will turn me down… Politely of course, and we will never speak of that moment again. But we will know. Oh yes, we will know.
The cycle will repeat with the next con goer.
I wake up, I start off with a glass of water, then I will start my coffee. As that is brewing, I make up a protein shake and if I’m just really hungry, I will then make some solid food. Found a recipe for quick banana pancakes that are actually pretty damn good (go with the 4 ingredient recipe with the baking powder, makes them fluffier).
Wake up at that forsaken time before the sun comes up, call to wake up coworker, bathroom, dress, brew tea, prep lunch, leave for work.
Protein shakes? Banana pancakes? TEA?! This is madness!
If I haven’t downed a half gallon of rotgutt gas station coffee and I’m frantically clawing at the door to the company bathroom by 7:00 a.m. then I declare the day a failure and go home and weep for hours.
That’s a right manly way to face the day.
Man, if I don’t have food to go with my coffee, I’m a grumpy bastard. One of my co-workers informed me I am a “hangry” person (angry when hungry). I corrected her and informed her that I’m always angry, the severity is what differs everyday.
Oh my God. You are the HULK! That is pretty awesome.
It is not real coffee unless you can stand a metal spoon upright in it.
Not a hard choice at all. I’d eat all of them.
Coffee SUCKS.
I start the day(8pm) with a V-8 followed by a 32 oz. coke.
Tomato juice followed by a big bottle of liquid candy and caffeine…..2 substances I never plan to have in my body at the same time lol
You haven’t gone and joined the undead without us have you? If you have, not cool bro, not cool.
I like to think he’s realized what a cash cow he’s got in selling coffee mugs like the one in this comic and is out wandering the world searching for a way to bring them to market….
Well looks like another good comic has gone and died.
Sadly, the increasing time over the last couple of years, had lead me to expect it.
I keep checking back just incase. He’s gone on hiatus before and one never knows what’s going on in someone else’s life, so keep hope alive.
Seriously? He did that many times, no reason to panic.
I’ve just been burried in freelance work… Which I’ve come to the conclusion I need to do less of. Like maybe none for a while.
The work/reward ratio is just not working for me anymore and costs me in other areas (the comic)
And like zombie jesus he rises from the grave to devour the flesh of mortals once more…..woot
man, that Canadian goose must’ve kept you on the pot a looooong time 😀
So, did you die or something?
Cthullu (pbhn) says: Klaatu Barada Nikto…… Now arise and draw some damned comics.