I get asked this question a lot.
“Carter, you are such a sexy and manly man. Truly a paragon of humanity, Do you really want to become a zombie?”
Well, yeah… I mean don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m leaping into the jaws of the first zombie I see. During the inevitable coming zombpocalypse I plan on fighting to the bitter end with every ounce of my incredible and prodigious fighting skills. I plan on going out in a blaze of glory.
But when the end comes, and oh yes it will come. I’m going to have no regrets throwing myself to the hungry zombie masses.
I see in movies a lot where the situation comes up that somebody gets bit and wants to be killed while they are still human. Wow, how lame. What if being a zombie is actually an incredibly awesome experience. Like having a permanent beer buzz. Sounds good right? Do you really want to miss out on that. I don’t.
So if I get infected, DO NOT SHOOT ME! Just let me go on my merry zombie way and everything will be well.
Custom Zombie Portraits
Also this Picture is a zombified version of a friend of mine. Todd from zombiesandtoys.blogspot.com
I’m offering something new on my store.
Custom Zombie portraits!
For a measly investment of fifty bucks I will happily take your picture and turn you into a horrific zombie. Returning to you a quality print and the original pencil illustration.
You know you want one, your life… No your very soul depends on it.
hmmm fifty bucks is pretty steep… how about 3 cows, five chickens and a duck? 😉
Seriously though you made a statement there that would go well on a shirt. TZN “If I get infected, DO NOT SHOOT ME! ” I would want one of those shirts to carry around until I get bit then I’d put it on.. or “Please Do Not aim for my head!” … or a take off of the Got Milk commercial, Moon holding up his severed hand “Got Glue?”
You are WAY overpaying there Hecter. You could get $750 easy for that list. 😉
Shhhhh don’t tell him that. I was getting a deal.
Sir, I accept your offer of 3 cows, five chickens, and a duck…. But that better be one good looking duck.
I hope to eventually print my own t-shirts. I’ve got all the equipment to do one color prints. Now I just need to get some high quality t-shirts. I hate those cheap cotton/polly blends. They feel to thin ans stretchy to me.
50 male deer is a lot more meat that 3 cows, chickens and a duck… I am not going to comment on the good looking duck ‘cuz that’ll just lead us back to the Furries, or the guy in the pig costume. :-0
Gotta get quality shirts … not polo though.. Can’t have preppy zombies, that just ain’t cool.
Awww come on, you know you want to see furries dressed up like ducks. You know you do. 🙂
Go to Offworlddesigns.com
Brilliant.. Zombify me now! Life is too hard being a person, Being a Zombie is much better.. Bring on the Zombocalypse..
Every time I pay my mortgage I feel the exact same way.
Mortgages suck! I should know.. I have 3 of them..
I’ve got two. If I could just sell my old house life would be a lot better. It’s a nice house, but the market right now kinda blows.
I don’t know … with parts always falling off, sex as a zombie would seem kinda … you know … dangerous to my manhood. I guess that’s the reason you “fight to the bitter end”.
Superglue will fix that right up. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
You have never gotten superglue all over your hands by accident have you?
Oh my science! I want ten custom portraits and I’m going right now to follow the zombies and Toys blog. If I liked baseball, I’d say you knocked this out of the park; but I don’t like baseball, so I’ll say BOOM! HEADSHOT! instead. Amazing, brother.
Thanks. 🙂 I do try. “Ten Custom Portraits!” wow at that many I’d have to cut you a bulk deal. (I’m such a shameless salesman lol)
Unless being a zombie really is going to be cool, I plan on taking as many zombie bastards as I can in an explosion I am Legend style when I’m dying and can’t go any further. The only problem with that plan is getting hold of a few grenades or other explosive devices.
K, but you’ll miss out on the whole becoming a zombie experience. I’m telling you that’s a mistake. It’s going to be cool.
That’s why I said I’d only do it if being a zombie didn’t end up being cool.
Downside of being a Zombie:
1) Expiry date
2) You stink, so girls never want to date you
3) Penis falls off early on
4) No sense of touch/pain; masturbation is a futile endeavour.
5) Rednecks and horror movie protagonists are always trying to shoot you in the head
6) You always lose your guts eventually
7) The fashion world doesn’t design clothing to complement that “One Armed” look
8) Clouds of blowfies constantly clouding your vision
9) Zombies have to pay full price for movies on Tuesdays
10) You will never enjoy chocolate ever again.
You forgot this one:
11) You are an easy target for anyone to shoot.
I believe that’s covered in #5 😀
Yes and no. Rednecks are actually better shots than most people realize. Besides can you see the fun the gangs of any major city would have with hordes of slow moving zombies to use for target practice?
Why assume they would be slow?
That’s it, I need to start a paper on how to survive as a zombie.
It’s for science!
I’ll provide target T-shirts for the first graduating class of zombies 😀
But your supposed to shoot zombies in the head. You could have an arrow pointing up with text reading “Aim Higher” I suppose.
if you turn into a zombie near me i`ll shoot but when you become a zombie your soul leaves the body and you don`t experance anything your body dose
Just don’t aim for the head and we should be good. I want to enjoy a very lengthy career as a zombie.
there is one bad think… no sex…
If Stephanie Myer can write about vampires that glitter in the sun then I can make up a type of zombie that can “Get Busy”
Besides, you ever see “Dead Alive?” They have two zombies have sex and then they have a horrible little zombie baby. This proves that zombies are not only capable of this activity, but should still be concerned about protection.