I would have told him that I liked it… But he would have seen the lie in my eyes.

Now, before I start getting epic levels of hate mail for this comic… Weirdly tattoo aficionados are very VERY vocal about their chosen art form let me explain. I’m not anti-tattoo. I’ve seen some amazing one’s and by and large I don’t care what other people do to their gross flesh husks as long as it doesn’t affect me.

But he did ask me MY opinion on his tattoo. And I gave it too him. Ultimately the fault is with him for forgetting that am am an overly dramatic ass-hat with not a scrap of a filter for my big stupid mouth. I cannot fight against my nature.

That makes him the villain….. not me. Right?

Some of you may be wondering, would I ever consent to getting my own gloriously manly features “inked?” Madness I say! My body is a temple. A very pudgy hairy HAIRY temple. You don’t grow a thick luxurious pelt of back hair like mine only to shave it off and scrawl vile ink upon it. NEVER! Such a despicable act would be a crime against all that is good and holy.

Now I want you all to take a moment and reread that last paragraph. Pay special attention to the mentioning of the glorious, thick, and luxurious pelt of back hair. Is that image seared into your minds eye? You are welcome.

…Also Rosco, if you are reading this, this is an intervention buddy. That thing on your face needs to be fixed. I suggest we tattoo right over the top of it.

Go with me on this. How about a full body tattoo of you, but better looking and thinner! Genius! I know. Problem solved. Spike the football.

I’ll call you later and we’ll get you setup.

I’m a good friend. 🙂