I think we can agree that we’re all excited about the coming zombie apocalypse. But why? Why does the end of the world hold such appeal to people. I have a theory. I have also been drinking and my theories may reflect that.

Reasons I’m looking forward to the Zompocalyps:

  • Despite not being able to do sit-ups I am convinced I would be the ultimate survivor. (Screw you Bear Grylls)
  • With the fall of society I would no longer have to obey man’s laws. (Say goodbye to taxes)
  • Bathing, it was always optional to begin with, but now……
  • The opportunity to test myself against overwhelming odds is appealing (Pay no attention to the fact I can’t finish most video games on the easy mode)
  • I’m looking forward to calling my house a “compound” and starting a cult.  We shall worship the mighty jackalope and pray for our day of “ascension”
  • My cult will consist of nubile cheerleaders and I will be the only dude (If my wife is reading this, I did not just say that.  You have no proof)
  • Cannibalism.  If it was good enough for soccer players than it’s good enough for me.

There’s a lot to look forward to with the end of the world.  It’s sort of one of those glass empty/glass full kind of situations.

I’m dizzy now, I’m going to bed.