The Simple Joy Of The End Of The World
Jun26
on June 26, 2017 at 5:00 am
I think we can agree that we’re all excited about the coming zombie apocalypse. But why? Why does the end of the world hold such appeal to people. I have a theory. I have also been drinking and my theories may reflect that.
Reasons I’m looking forward to the Zompocalyps:
- Despite not being able to do sit-ups I am convinced I would be the ultimate survivor. (Screw you Bear Grylls)
- With the fall of society I would no longer have to obey man’s laws. (Say goodbye to taxes)
- Bathing, it was always optional to begin with, but now……
- The opportunity to test myself against overwhelming odds is appealing (Pay no attention to the fact I can’t finish most video games on the easy mode)
- I’m looking forward to calling my house a “compound” and starting a cult. We shall worship the mighty jackalope and pray for our day of “ascension”
- My cult will consist of nubile cheerleaders and I will be the only dude (If my wife is reading this, I did not just say that. You have no proof)
- Cannibalism. If it was good enough for soccer players than it’s good enough for me.
There’s a lot to look forward to with the end of the world. It’s sort of one of those glass empty/glass full kind of situations.
I’m dizzy now, I’m going to bed.
You need any security patrolling the compounds perimeter Carter?
I do. But first, since this is a cult I’ll be starting….. How do you feel about cool-aid? Sneakers?
Just don’t make the cool-aid red.
I will let you borrow either the neumatic powerfist or the flaming shishkabob. I got dibs on the extended ripper. Nothing says dead messy zombies like a militarized chainsaw.
Nothing brings a smile to my face like the phrase “militarized chainsaw”
Want.
Get your own in Diamond City. Although you check my junk box in my fort at Sanctuary, there should be several there. Just do not use the explosive one. It is hazardous to the user. Look for the incendiary one, it can be a lot of fun at parties.
Personally, I’m a fan of the shock sword. Instantly burns a foe to ash. So no chance of getting infected by splatter. And as bonus, any mess can be cleaned up with a dustbuster. 😉
Not as satisfying. Although the explosive minigun is also fun.
Is post-apocalyptic wood harder than petrified wood? Cause if so, the zombpocalypse is gonna save a lot of old guys a lot of money on more than car insurance.
And it wasn’t soccer players–not even “football” players.
Dude, it was RUGBY players. Those dudes are hard-core and ready to duke it out with the zombies–winners eat the losers!
I guess i’m way too old to be a nubile cheerleader, this year i’ll turn twenty… on the other hand i’m pretty good with blunt weapons, and sorry for being late to say that it is good to still have you around.
Enough aptitude with blunt weaponry cancels out lack of nubility. In a zombpocalypse I will be happy to have Betty White on my team if the lady can bat clean up if required.
Funny how the end ‘o the world tends to change a guy’s priorities.
Sigh, now I feel old… BUT! I’ve had that many more years to prepare for the zompoc…and get off my lawn Whipersnapper!, that’s where the anti-zombie mines are.
Twenty!!! It pains me that I’m over forty. I’m literally two of you. Good Lord I hate getting old.
I sure hope this “Youth Serum” I’m inventing out of chocolate covered coffee beans and crack works. It’s my last hope.
Do not forget the bacon.
Otherwise it will not work.
Cheerleaders usually cause everyone to die, so you are good. Besides, most cheerleaders are clearly evil.
Right there with ya have my eye set on a local Costco… WHICH so happens to be right next to the mall. So i get a stronghold… that i can watch with amusement as the zombie mall scenario plays out in real life.
Now if we could only get those lazy zombies to get the ball rolling on this whole Apocalypse thing.
Since most of them have iphones, they would be walking into walls with their cellphones in their mouths. We call them I-zombies.
Can I be in ur cult dad? But not as a cheerleader, I’m to lazy to be a cheerleader.
But can ya swing a bat? Or a brick flail??
I don’t know what the big deal is with cheerleaders anyways. How many times have pom poms taken out the walking dead?
And don’t even get me staryed on encouraging the damn things, they’ve already got unshakable morale.
I am vaguely horrified that my daughter is reading my comic and is now fully aware what a lecherous weirdo her daddy is.
Horror.
Y r u afraid of me likeing horror. U r the t one that showed me my frost horror movie
Kaydence, it’s a joke. Everything on daddy’s site is a joke. EVERYTHING.