You know there are a tonne of websites out there telling you how to defend yourself from the undead, how to kill them, how to survive them…. Blah blah blah. And I have to admit I too am guilty of this kind of “Zombie Racism.”

But have any of you ever considered the positive aspects of the coming zombpocalypse?

Namely you can’t kill what’s already dead.

That, my friends, equals no consequences for your actions. You don’t like the guy driving too slow on the road in front of you, just run him down. Neighbor’s music a little too loud, try explosives. Grandma hanging on a little to tight to your inheritance, launch her out of a cannon. It’s awesome! If everyone’s a zombie then you can do whatever you want to them. They’re zombies, it’s all good.

Except to me. Look, if I become a zombie I still expect you all to love and adore me… Just like you do right now. I still expect you all to throw handfuls of cash and women at me whenever you see me.