This is 100% true and no attempt at embellishment has been made.

Buuuuuuut I fancy myself a cartoonist so just for fun I had to immortalize my wife’s night time madness as a comic.  My in-laws will be pleased.

I don’t know what the deal is with me and sleep, but I don’t sleep through the night… Ever.  I sleep so lightly that if a Gnat farts a mile away from my house I’m up, checking the locks, and convinced a murderer in the house.

For the record, here in Utah we have a huge problem with gassy gnats.   Late in the evening you can sit out on your porch watching swarms of bugs and clouds of methane.  It’s a sight to behold.

Anyway, the result of all this excessively loud bug flatulence is that I don’t sleep well.