As a future zombie, and don’t kid yourself we are all going to become zombies one day, I’m very concerned with the standard of living for all the undead.

Unless you sparkle in which case I don’t care that much.

I made the horrible mistake of watching the news, something I try never to do.  It really screws with my apathy.  As a general rule I don’t give a crap about politics, protestors, or political movements.  And I almost never talk about it.  The Occupy Wall Street people are funny to me though.  Not because of their message, but because of the parodies about it.

Every where I go I see “I am the 99%” in one funny way or another.  It’s the next internet meme.  Move over Charlie Sheen.

I am a professional ass so of course I have to get in on that with a zombie parody of the 99% jokes.

You think class warfare is bad now, well when we’re running low on edible humans and everyone is a shambling hungry undead then you’ll start seeing some serious economic zombie protestors.

#Occupy My Belly

I guess the Aussies are a little tired of their countries prudish video game classification system… So they decided to protest….. as zombies. Source here.

MORE than 500 people dressed as zombies lurched and marched down Sydney streets on Saturday in protest at the gaming classifications in Australia and calling for an adults-only game classification.

Australia is the only Western nation that does not have an R18+ classification for video games.

This is the second zombie protest in Sydney. The violent zombie video game Left 4 Dead 2 failed to meet the MA15+ classification last year, inspiring the theme of the protest.

I thought this was an interesting part of the article.

A recent investigation by the Sun-Herald revealed that the existing video game classification system is not working effectively, with many violent, gory games finding their way into the hands of kids as young as 14.

Look I won’t lie. I love violent bloody video games. It would make me angry if someone told me I couldn’t play them. At the same time, I WILL NOT let my kids play or even watch me play those same games….. Why?

Because I’m the parent, I’m the boss, and boo hoo kids, I get to tell you what to do. That’s my job. Not some politicians.

I don’t need the government protecting my kids from violent games I do that already. At the same time I don’t need the government protecting me from those games either.

Because I’m an adult, thanks.

It’s about time.

Yahoo news reports:

At the time of their arrest in 2006, the plaintiffs lurched stiff-legged through a mall urging shoppers to “get your brains here” and “brain cleanup in aisle five” while wearing white face powder, fake blood and black circles around their eyes. They were also carrying audio equipment, including loudspeakers and wireless phone handsets, which police had decided to describe as “simulated weapons of mass destruction.”

The three-judge panel, by a two-to-one vote, ruled that Minneapolis police lacked probable cause to arrest the demonstrators for disorderly conduct, and that the group of seven “zombies” had been wrongfully detained during the protest against consumerism. The appeals court ruled that police had no reason to imprison protesters simply for “dressing as zombies, and walking erratically in downtown Minneapolis.”

“An objectively reasonable person,” the appeals court ruled, “would not think probable cause exists under the Minnesota disorderly conduct statue to arrest a group of peaceful people for engaging in an artistic protest by playing music, broadcasting statements [and] dressing as zombies.”

Glad to know that the courts aren’t just protecting our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness—but also our right to brains as well!

It’s true, sure the man was rather fond of his hunger strikes to protest the British rule of his country, but he would change his ways if you offered him your succulent brains.

That’s a weird subject by the way, Hunger Strikes. How does that work?

You there! Yes, you. I have a bone to pick with you, so to speak. I disagree with you and mock your value system. Ha ha! Now that I have your attention I will refuse to eat this delicious donut in order to protest whatever it is you are doing to me.

Do you feel guilty yet? I’m getting really hungry. I won’t lie, I have hypoglycemia and that donut is looking very taisty. Ready to give into my demands yet? No?

Damnit!

I hate hunger strikes. Why didn’t I sign up for the “Fat guy eats too many chocolate cakes” strike.

That’s pretty much how hunger strikes work according to my imagination. I make you feel guilty and you do what I want…. Good luck with that.