There will be no penicillin during the zombie apocalypse. So you might want to… you know, keep your naughty bits to yourself.

I’ll be the ripe old age of forty this year and it occurs to me that without antibiotics I would never have made it out of my twenties. I’d have died of a sinus infections decades ago…

Holy crap! Am I really that old? Now I’m depressed.

While I am looking forward to the coming zombie apocalypse I’m not looking forward to the inevitable loss of western medicine. It’s not going to go well for me as my ancient decrepit body is already starting to deteriorate at an alarming rate.

Without antibiotics a simple scratch becomes a potentially life threatening problem during the zombie apocalypse. In fact every thing and everyone around you is merely another vector for putrid filthy disease. Mosquitoes, children, spoiled milk, all swimming with potential disease and doom.

Courtney Love during the zombie apocalypse would be the equivalent of horrific petri dish of doom. Do not gaze to closely at her lest she smite you down with her conjunctivitis and various other infected orifices. Wow, that’s gross.

It suddenly occurs to me that without doctors and the happy happy pills that they give me it is only a matter of time before I welcome the sweet embrace of death. Who will set my broken bones? Who will apply a manly tourniquet when I futilely chop my arm off after a zombie bite? Who will kiss my boo boo’s better?

I’m just say’n it’s going to be a problem.