The tragedy of Zombie Romance and the forbidden love between a human and a zombie, will those two crazy kids ever be able to make it in this crazy topsy turvy world?

I was at Barnes and Nobles this weekend perusing the Teen Paranormal Romance section…. Okay my wife was and I was following her making smart ass comments (It’s what I do.) As she was looking for another novel where some impressionable young teen girl was being romanced by a vampire, werewolf, angel, or possibly a sexy Sasquatch it occurred to me that my wife would find me far more attractive if I were a monster.

That’s kind of a sobering thought. Women like the idea of strong dangerous bad boy/monster in their fiction. Weird! You know what? There is no parallel in young Men’s fiction for this. Guys don’t like the idea of their potential girlfriend having demonic powers, or some kind of cursed blood lust.

It’s pretty simple to figure out why. We men are jerks, we will eventually piss our significant other off, and when we do it would be nice if our significant other didn’t snap our spines in two, drain our blood, or swallow our souls.

A supernatural girlfriend sounds like a terrible idea…. unless of course her cleavage is also supernatural. Then I possibly could see a positive in that.

The sweet sweet joy of giving “Twilight” a hard time.  It eases the pain of my jealousy over Stephanie Myer being more successful and richer than I ever will be…. So bitter.

I admit it, I read the whole “Twilight” …….saga?  Is it a Saga now?  Really?  Again damn it I want to do something someone calls a saga.

Anyway every stinking time you turn a page in those books Bella’s doing something potentially life threatening.  Chick’s always falling down, nearly drowning, she’s eating improperly cooked pork and chicken.  Once she even wore white after Labor Day!  Not exactly the heroine you would hope for in a novel.  You kind of want to smack her about midway through the first book.  That feeling never lets up by the way, even to the last page.

I never read any of the comic books so I know exactly squat when it comes to what “Dylan Dog” is about. I like that his buddy is a zombie and that it deals with what zombies have to go through to survive. I could kind of care less about vampires and werewolves… K’ maybe I like the werewolves a bit.

Replacement parts for zombies? That’s a pretty cool idea. I think I’m going to get tickets to this.

While I’m on the subject of Vampires today.
I would have liked Twilight so much more if they would have done it this way….. Much better.

Yet another glorious Zombie Mashup with Classical literature, people, stuff… whatever.

Product Description from Amazon:

Something wicked this way comes . . . and it keeps coming and coming and coming. . . .

William Shakespeare was one of history’s greatest writers, a master of words with a body of work that is truly impressive . . . some may say a little too impressive for a single man to accomplish in one lifetime. Perhaps, as many have speculated, he had assistance. Or perhaps the explanation is more . . . unusual.

Who was William Shakespeare?
Who was the Dark Lady of the Sonnets?
Why are the undead stalking the alleyways of London?
And can they be stopped?
Something is definitely rotten in the state of Denmark.

So brace yourself for a wild ride through twisted streets and shadowed graveyards of Elizabethan London, where you’ll discover how the Bard got his Bite.

Look I’m just happy that there is another genre mashup where they stick zombies where you don’t expect them. Sure they have vampires too…. nothings perfect, but I wholly endorse cramming zombies into every stinking genre they can fit in!

Zombie westerns… Yes, Sci-fi… yes, chick flicks of all kinds… hell yes! Cram them zombies!

Synopsis

Living in the back room of his father’s doctor’s office, broke, frustrated ladies man Julian (Jake Hoffman) scores his big break when he lands the job directing an off-Broadway version of Hamlet. Except it’s a bizarre adaptation written by a pale Romanian impresario named Theo (John Ventimiglia), who is actually a master vampire! Theo hopes to lure the real Hamlet (Kris Lemche) out of hiding so the two can end a centuries long feud over Shakespeare’s Ophelia. Meanwhile, Julian pines for his ex-girlfriend, Anna (Devon Aoki), who is dating mobster Bobby Bianchi (Ralph Macchio), who’s intent on creating the next great invention. Add into the mix a dimwitted detective (Jeremy Sisto), the Holy Grail, the Rosicrucian Society, a bunch of sexy vamps, God, and a score by Sean Lennon; and you’ve got the perfect mix of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Terry Gilliam, Dude Where’s My Car, and Woody Allen all in one fantastic film!

Kind of a convoluted plot but still looking forward to this one. I liked the trailer it made me chuckle.

Author Seth Grahame-Smith’s follow-up to his successful Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has already been optioned for a movie version.

(Gleeeeeeee) Deadline reports that Tim Burton has teamed with Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov to produce a movie version of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

The following is how publisher Grand Central Publishing describes “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”:

Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother’s bedside. She’s been stricken with something the old-timers call “Milk Sickness.”

“My baby boy…” she whispers before dying.

Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother’s fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.

When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, “henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose…” Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

I won’t lie this news makes me giddy and tingly in my no no areas…. I shouldn’t have shared that… Dang it!

In addition to this Lionsgate has picked up the movie version of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, with Natalie Portman attached to star and David O. Russell circling as director.