Posts Tagged ‘Twilight vampires’

2 results.
grimace

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE – Final Theatrical Trailer

by Zombie Carter on May 6, 2010 at 5:00 am
Posted In: Uncategorized

Gleeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Um…. ummm… I mean whatever. I guess it’s okay if your… like a chick… or something. Eclipse final Theatrical Trailer is out.

For those of you who like emotionally abusive boyfriends, and Mary Sue Characters your dreams have been realized. Behold….. The “ECLIPSE” TRAILER.

I don’t care so much as I’m a dude…. Wait let me check that…. yep my junk is still there, still a dude. So I don’t care. I am however excited for the various opportunities this allows for me making fun of Twilight, so that should be entertaining.

I am going to get soo much hate mail from emotional people. I’ll make a new stack right next to all my “Cease and Desist” letters and “Restraining” orders.

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Twilight Vampires… as they should have been.

by Zombie Carter on January 10, 2010 at 5:00 am
Posted In: comics, Sketches
Twilight Vampires… as they should have been.

You know what?, I don’t like vampires, more to the point I don’t like pretty vampires. They are supposed to be monsters not horny sex objects ready to have their sweaty way with you. I’ve always hated that.

So when everyone around me gets obsessed with those twilight books, something in me gets super angsty about it and draws this. This is how the vampires should have looked…. Ugly.

Now before all you overly emotional women (and effeminate men) who have decided that Edward is you one true love come to lynch me be aware…. I read the books, they were not bad… not super awesome either, but not bad.

That movie Twilight, however, sucked donkeys in no uncertain terms. I’ve seen thousands of movies and this one sucked. Bad acting, lame directing, and the most boring vampires I have ever seen. In the book Stephanie Myers constantly goes on about how fast and strong the vampires are. Do you see that in the movie? Barely. Is there any tension or drama… No. Good hell the bad vampire were so unintimidating I’m pretty sure even my little daughter could have kicked his @$$.

Sorry fangirls, and effeminate fanmen, face it. That movie sucked.

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