Damn you, Spoiled Milk! DAMN YOU! (Shake’s fist at Milk everywhere)
Oh sure, it could be argued that I should have checked it out before I drank it, but then I wouldn’t of had the wonder and joy of curling up next to the toilet spewing vile vile fluids for hours on end.
You can see the bind I was in, how could I as man, and a damned handsome man at that, pass that experience up? Madness!
So it was destiny not foolishness that forced me consume the evil milk, and build up even more character than I possessed before. If you think about it, I’m a hero and a patriot.
It’s a true testament to the human spirit.