Evil Milk

I'm going to eat you!

Damn you, Spoiled Milk! DAMN YOU! (Shake’s fist at Milk everywhere)

Oh sure, it could be argued that I should have checked it out before I drank it, but then I wouldn’t of had the wonder and joy of curling up next to the toilet spewing vile vile fluids for hours on end.

You can see the bind I was in, how could I as man, and a damned handsome man at that, pass that experience up? Madness!

So it was destiny not foolishness that forced me consume the evil milk, and build up even more character than I possessed before. If you think about it, I’m a hero and a patriot.

It’s a true testament to the human spirit.