By Michael Thomas Ford, published by Ballantine comes the true tale of Jane Austen…. As a vampire…. an awkward awkward British Vampire.
Oh crap! An awkward British writer as a vampire, and she’s still around. I better stop poking fun at these books, before I get killed in the middle of the night…. by Jane Austen.
Will somebody please rewrite Mark Twain’s terribly boring… oh so boring books.
In the fine tradition of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”
(And I’m totally sure in NO WAY desperately trying to jump on the band wagon of classical mashups between awkward British people and unholy evil.)
Simon and Schuster brings you…. “Jane Slayre.”
These are hilarious… Oh how I have hated the classics for years. So to see so many of them get the Undead Mashup treatment, warms the inky black pit that I call my soul.
Jane Slayre, our plucky demon-slaying heroine, a courageous orphan who spurns the detestable vampyre kin who raised her, sets out on the advice of her ghostly uncle to hone her skills as the fearless slayer she’s meant to be. When she takes a job as a governess at a country estate, she falls head-over-heels for her new master, Mr. Rochester, only to discover he’s hiding a violent werewolf in the attic—in the form of his first wife.
Can a menagerie of bloodthirsty, flesh-eating, savage creatures-of-the-night keep a swashbuckling nineteenth-century lady from the gentleman she intends to marry? Vampyres, zombies, and werewolves transform Charlotte Brontë’s unforgettable masterpiece into an eerie paranormal adventure that will delight and terrify.
To all the English majors and classical authors out there wailing in frustration or rolling in their graves: Your rage nourishes me like the finest of wines.
From the best selling author Amanda Grange comes a book that looked at the success of “Pride and Prejudice and zombies” and said “ME TOO.”
In the spirit of Jumping on as many bandwagons as possible comes another Genre mash up novel. This time instead of fighting zombies Mr. Darcy will be giving into his terrible lust… Not for Ms. Bennitt (Who we can all agree is a bit of a prude), but for blood.
Prepare yourself for the onslaught of awkward British vampires.
Cross your fingers and pray that at the very least Mr. Darcy does not sparkle.
