Admit it, you’ve thought of it.  The perfect zombie apocalypse scenario.  That special someone you like, zombies outside, and you just happen to be the only available mating option in the fortress of your choosing.  Of course it goes without saying that you have ample supplies of food and ammunition…. and massage oil.  (Look, I’m not here to judge you)

And then it all goes to crap as somebody way better looking than you shows up and you’re in “Zombie Apocalypse Friend Zone”

Now I grew up in the 80’s.  If there is one thing I learned while watching an entirely inappropriate amount of horror movies for a child, it’s that in a horror movie only the two prettiest people survive.  So if you end up in a scenario where “Manly Jim” is there, you have no choice but to quietly do away him.  It’s your only hope.

Also if during the course of the zombie apocalypse you should find yourself trapped in the mall with a couple dozen supermodels…. and me…. and you happen to be better looking than I am.  You probably sleep with one eye open.  Just say’n.