A zombie fortress is a futile endeavor that will get you killed.  It is a well documented fact that a zombie fortress just doesn’t work.  Don’t believe me?  How about this plot for a movie.

The survivors hole up in a well stocked and well fortified zombie fortress.  There’s plenty of food, safety, and guns and the zombies have no hope of getting in.  In fact they never do get in and everyone inside is perfectly fine.  The movie is over, nothing happens and you really want your money back.

This movie makes exactly $0.00 and that’s rounded up.  The problem is is that this is the “Siege” type of zombie movie originally seen in “Night of the Living Dead” and done to death about a million times by lesser and lesser movies.  But what was once original and cool when Romero did it, is now tired and cliched these days.  So what’s the main problem with this movie type?  The zombie fortress idea of course.

You have a external and omnipresent threat on the outside and a group mentally challenged survivors holed up in a zombie fortress.  If there isn’t some sort of conflict to bring the movie to resolution then that’s pretty dull.  And by resolution that almost always means a fight with the zombies outside.  The problem then becomes how are we going to bring the zombies to the survivors or the survivors to the zombies?

Bad writing saves the day.  A contrived and badly done excuse for the survivors to leave the safety of their zombie fortress is constructed, the zombies come in and eat everyone and the movie comes to a close.  You can’t avoid this fate.  The rules of Drama forbid it.

Your only hope to survive then becomes to make yourselves a more proactive zombie fortress, one that actively eliminates the zombie threat outside.  And with any luck the zombies will be much less of a menace when all your other idiot survivor friends make poor life decisions that culminate in them opening the doors.

The Best Zombie Fortress is proactive

Behold! I give you the ultimate zombie fortress… Plants Vs. Zombies.  An entire game that has a better plot than 97% of siege based zombie movies.  I say forget about “World War Z” as a zombie movie block buster.  I want to see the movie version of “Plants Vs. Zombies.”