I’m A Really Sensitive Driver
Last week was an awesome time to be driving in Utah. With the snow and honking I really enjoyed my three hour commutes. It was…… super.
I shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel of a car. To be honest I seem to undergo a horrible change when I do. Gone is the loveable Ghandi’esque human being and in it’s place, like some sort of malevolent changeling, is a beast…man… beast man with the mouth of a trucker and a heart full of hate. The things I say and the curses I fling at my fellow man would shame a serial killer. I would never behave outside my car like I do behind the wheel. I’m not proud of that.
Thankfully we don’t have horrible plagues running rampant around the world like I’ve so often wished. And if we did there is no chance that I would be magically spared. In truth I’d probably be one of the first to croak. Do you have any idea how many sinus infections I seam to get a year. If it weren’t for antibiotics I’d have been dead long ago.
That brings me to the zombie apocalypse. Talk to anyone out there about their “Zombie Attack Plan” and they are entirely convinced that they will be one of the survivors defending themselves from the hordes of the living dead. The problem with that of course is that hordes of zombies don’t just make themselves.
It takes a whole lot of dead people, people like you and me. And this is why I’m pro zombie, I’ve made my piece with my inevitable zombification and I’m comforted by the sure knowledge that I will not be alone.
Yet so many people thing that they will survive to be in the apocalypse. I got to tell you it’s going to be a pretty boring zombie apocalypse if it ends up being just one zombie and six billion humans chasing after him with guns. We’ve got to give the poor undead a sporting chance.