The Great Mystery Of The Company Bathroom
I still work the dreaded “Day Job” unfortunately and occasionally I get to work before anyone else does. One of the great mysteries of where I work is why do the bathrooms smell like the South end of a North facing goat? And without any one to blame I have advanced two theories.
- Whoever is using the bathroom each day before going home for the evening is leaving such a great and titanic stench that it lingers for the whole evening and into the next day. I can only conclude that if this correct, this individual eats a tremendous amount of bran and if quite possibly rotting on the inside. They should seek medical attention immediately.
- My second theory on why my work’s bathrooms have attained a legendary odor is simply… Ghost poops. Late at night the incorporeal dead must roam the halls of my company consuming all the emotions of hate, rage, and despair that my fellow co-workers exude in mass. This rapidly fermenting emotional brew quickly becomes toxic for the ghosts and with an almighty heave they void their haunted bowels into restrooms.
Ghost poop is well known to be invisible and leaves no lasting prove that it was ever there. Except possibly my singed nose hairs and a growing post traumatic stress disorder. This mystery continues. I’ll keep you updated on the investigation.