100% True Tales Of a Cartoonist: Too Pale For Kwanzaa
Did you know that if you call your wife “White Devil” you are going to sleep on the couch? Weird right? It seams that “white devil” is not considered a term of endearment.
So my eight year old is learning about different holidays in school and was ecstatic too discover her own somewhat diluted African heritage as it gives her an excuse to celebrate Kwanzaa. To an eight year old (and apparently to a thirty-eight year old) more holidays equal more presents. So she wants to do them all. Sadly this just ain’t gonna happen as my credit cards are already pissed at me.
The beauty of my daughter discovering her link to the “Dark Continent” is that this kid couldn’t be more pale. She’s got red hair, blue eyes, and if you hold her up to the sun you can read through her. I live in mortal terror that a stray beam of sunlight will strike her directly and she’ll go up like a Roman Candle. I of course blame her “White Devil” mother for this.
By the way, nobody tell her I called her that again. It’s cold and lonely on the couch and being there fills me with the sadness.