Say what you will about Darth Maul, but at least he never dirtied his light saber by killing younglings.

Just one of the many things that always bugged me about the prequels… George Lucas makes a cool character like Darth Maul then promptly chops him in half. Lame. Really lame.

Thankfully even getting chopped in half is not enough to stop a zombie so Darth maul is back, undead, and pissed at Lucas. Perhaps he will eat his tasty tasty brains. Perhaps he’s justified in doing so.

For the record as I was sitting here drawing Jar Jar Binks as a zombie my kids came in no less then four times to tell me how much they love Jar Jar.

It was all I could do not to “Strike them down with all of my hate” making my transition to the dark side of the force complete.

It makes me painfully aware that in just a few short days I will be thirty-seven and old.

OOOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDD!

There is a serious generational gap in what I consider nerd culture and what my kids do. They are into the Clone Wars and I’m old school Star Wars. I like good wholesome nerdy things, they like….. I don’t know… someth’n. Good Hell, I should talk to my children more, huh? (Nope too much effort)

Am I wrong? Am I really out of touch with the kids these days?
NO, it’s the children who are wrong.

I did a zombified version of Bella and Edward it’s only fair to do a zombified version of Jacob Black too.

This is just one of the ways I don’t understand Twilight. One, I’m a dude and I realize that already makes it hard for me to like the books, but also I can’t find any likable characters in it. Edward’s kind of a creepy stalker who watches people sleep… because that’s normal boyfriend behavior. Then there’s Jacob Black who’s just kind of a jerk. He’s an abrasive guy with anger problems. Do girls really like that kind of thing? Weird.

I’m never going to understand this whole Team Edward Vs. Team Jacob thing. It’s a choice between a stalker and a jerk. Also (Spoilers) but Jacob’s going to have a “Relationship” with Bella’s half Vampire Baby. That’s not creepy at all is it.

I think converting the whole cast to zombies can only improve that series.  All of their less than desirable characteristics will be replaced by good old wholesome cannibalistic hunger.  It’s the perfect solution.

Now you want to see something really disturbing. The guy who plays Jacob, Taylor Lautner, that guy is SHARK BOY!!!  Oh the humanity!

I will have this same stupid expression forever!

Aaaaaw Sweet Sweet Dignity

In a few short years I will dance with doggies instead!

Zombification is a marked improvement to vampirism in my opinion. Bella  Swan should have been trying for this all along.

Well I drew Edward Cullen as a zombie it was only fair and inevitable that I would draw Bella as a zombie.

Ah ha ha ha, it’s so much fun to make fun of people who are more successful than me… better looking… have… more… money..

Damn it! I hate them so much (Shakes fist in helpless jealous rage)

Before you send hate mail (Although I am Highly amused when I get those so don’t stop) yes I have read Twilight.  For the Record I don’t hate it, I don’t love it either.  I thought it was just okay.  But at the same time I realize that as a typically insensitive male these books were not written for me.  It was written for women like my wife, and she loves it.  That’s cool… I guess. (Resentment)

First of all if I had written Twilight there would have been considerably more car chases, zombies,  and midgets….. Great Cthulhu I love midgets!!!  If you don’t love midgets your a liar.  Remember “Willow”  best movie ever!  Way better than Twilight.  Also rewriting Bella as a zombie would be fun.  Think of the very very few changes I would have to make to her character.  Easy.

….K I have to apologize.  Look it’s late and I’m toasted on a weee bit more decongestant than I really should have taken.  But I refuse to self edit!  That involves hitting the backspace key and I just won’t do it.

One day I’m going to meet Stephanie Myer and she is going to beat the crap out of me!  Justifiably so too.

It’s been a while since I gave Twilight a hard time in the comic.

I just kept looking at that poster of Edward Cullen and the more I looked at him and his ridiculous hair the more he looked like a giant angry cue tip.

SEE!  He said it himself!  Now no one can sue me. 

Take that! law firm of “James, Gareth, and take all of Carter’s money!” (Hate them sooo much)

Anyway… I get the urge to draw something other than comics periodically so that’s where Today’s zombified Edward Cullen comes from.  I’m not a huge fan of vampires, it’s not that I hate them, I just prefer zombies to them so much more.

Kind of happy with the way this one came out.   Even my traitorous Edward Loving wife approved (She loves that damned vampire more than me dang it!).  That’s incredibly depressing when I drew this comic to give her a hard time in the first place.

Maybe I should have given him googly eyes or something, possibly a huge goiter.   Teen girls still find huge goiters sexy right?

I get asked this question a lot.

“Carter, you are such a sexy and manly man. Truly a paragon of humanity, Do you really want to become a zombie?”

Well, yeah… I mean don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m leaping into the jaws of the first zombie I see. During the inevitable coming zombpocalypse I plan on fighting to the bitter end with every ounce of my incredible and prodigious fighting skills. I plan on going out in a blaze of glory.

But when the end comes, and oh yes it will come. I’m going to have no regrets throwing myself to the hungry zombie masses.

I see in movies a lot where the situation comes up that somebody gets bit and wants to be killed while they are still human. Wow, how lame. What if being a zombie is actually an incredibly awesome experience. Like having a permanent beer buzz. Sounds good right? Do you really want to miss out on that. I don’t.

So if I get infected, DO NOT SHOOT ME! Just let me go on my merry zombie way and everything will be well.

Custom Zombie Portraits

Also this Picture is a zombified version of a friend of mine. Todd from zombiesandtoys.blogspot.com

I’m offering something new on my store.

Custom Zombie portraits!

For a measly investment of fifty bucks I will happily take your picture and turn you into a horrific zombie. Returning to you a quality print and the original pencil illustration.

You know you want one, your life… No your very soul depends on it.

Aren’t fireworks fun? A great way to light yourself on fire or blow off a finger or two… Wait why do we do this every year again?