Poor La Magra, sometimes I think no woman wants to marry…. Him? It? Whatever. It must be very lonely.
So I recently watched the movie “Blade” with Wesley Snipes again and while some of the special effects were showing their age I have to say I was happily entertained. What’s not to like about that movie. It has over the top action, super menacing villains, and it culminates with a esoteric ritual to summon La Magra the blood god.
Highlights of the movie “Blade” are.
- Wesley Snipes… Kind of acting. Okay he acts with his fists and that’s really all I cared about.
- You get to watch vampires explode in amusing ways.
- A grossly fat vampire farts. (I am a man-child so this always makes me giggle)
- And my favorite, the overly complex blood draining device.
In Blade 2: Electric boogaloo the overly elaborate blood draining gets even more elaborate and ridiculous. I’ve seen people donate blood before, it seemed fairly straight forward with a needle and a bag. Maybe vampires don’t know how to use needles. I don’t know.
The only thing I didn’t like about “Blade” is how La Magra just ends up being Deacon Frost with red eyes…. Boring. I was hoping for tentacles, pulsing eyeballs, some sort of eldritch vibe straight out of H. P. Lovecraft’s nightmares. In the deleted scenes they were going to do it that way, but it didn’t test well with audiences. Jerks. Tentacled blood gods are way cooler.
I did hear recently that they were thinking of remaking “Blade,” no word on whether or not Wesley Snipes would be reprising his role as the daywalker, but I kind of doubt it. If they try making the movie again I formally go on record for demanding that La Magra be shown in his true form… A gross gelatinous mass of congealed blood.