Parenting is fun. You get to watch these tiny larval humans grow up, molt, and become full human bipeds. And I get to mold these young bipeds and teach them.
But, I will not suffer that my children have an irrational fear of spiders. I WILL NOT HAVE IT I SAY! Their mother, blessed be she who controls the boobies, has an irrational fear of spiders. She has inflicted this terrible fear on my offspring. It grates on me as the noble spider is the enemy of the vile mosquito. And therefore is my friend.
To combat this madness I have adopted a course of brutal… dare I say it, savage honesty. I like to point out how spiders kill all sorts of horrible creatures. Like mosquitoes (I hate them so much). I point out how spiders are everywhere and avoiding them is pointless.
It’s my hope that by sharing these little tidbits about our eight legged friends my progeny will no longer fear them. The terror of arachnophobia that has started with my wife, blessed be she who controls the boobies, will not be passed onto the next generation.