A Vampire obsession is something I don’t understand.  Here’s a reason that vampires suck (Pun intended).  They are almost always portrayed in film and movies as being completely obsessed with blood.  Unable to resist it’s crimson lure.  No vampire can control their vampire obsession when faced with somebody with a nosebleed.  They will pounce and drain the poor victim in a terrible display of poor table manners and ridiculous loss of control.

Vampires are pathetically weak then.  Why you ask?

Look I like Mt. Dew.  I like hamburgers.  If I forget to have lunch and you set these two tasty snacks before me I’m not going to lose control and debase myself like a spaz by gobbling them up.  Getting Mt. Dew and hamburger chunks messily all over my face.  NO!  This will not happen.  I reject your vampire obsessions.

Vampires do it all the time.  They can’t even stop themselves from slather all that blood all over their faces.  Sloppy table manners are a mark of poor breeding I say.  This is why I don’t understand why they are such a “sex symbol” for so many people.

Imagine something for a moment.  You have met this seductive stranger.  They are intoxicating, mysterious, and probably a snappy dresser.  Pretty hot right?  But every time they take you out to eat they bury their face in their mashed potatoes and grunt like a lunatic.  Mashed potatoes go everywhere and you are mortified.

Is this hot?  Hell no I say.