An this is how I became the worst super villain of all time. They call me “The Claw!” Sure they call me that due to my huge and disgusting talon like nails but it’s more of an honorary title.
Soon I will take up my mighty claws and lay waste to my enemies. Rending them asunder with viscous talons I’ve grown from my hands. It will be great and terrible to behold. Also it will make picking my nose very difficult and when I scratch my naughty bits it will be a nightmarish risk every time… EVERY TIME!
Like every artist out there I suffer from raging anxiety. I can’t turn my brain off ever and I worry about everything. It is a delightful mental hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. But thanks to the wonder and magic that is anti-anxiety drugs…. and a tad bit of therapy I can keep my anxiety to a nice healthy neurotic level.
However I can’t shake the habit I’ve always had of chewing my nails down to bloody stumps. It drives my wife crazy and we argue about it constantly. She just doesn’t understand the mental relief I get by nervously worrying at a loose piece of skin for hours and hours at a time. Women! am I right guys? (Crickets)
Seriously though I’ve got to try to do better at not chewing on my nails…. Sadly I am Bar-B-Que flavored so it’s hard.