100% True Tales Of A Cartoonist: Nightly Visitations

My daughter is part ninja girl.  I am convinced of this.  On a regular basis she will stealthily creep into my room late at night and whisper terrifying truths into my ear.  Haunting secrets that erode my sanity and force me to question the very nature of reality.  Often a change of shorts is required after one of these visits.   Having a child’s sinisterly whispered voice wake me up from a dead sleep often causes me to involuntarily crap myself in terror.

Occasionally I have the opportunity to mess with my child’s fragile psyche though and I take advantage of it.  Sadly my eight year old daughter is a veteran at handling her father’s mad ramblings and weapon’s grade BS.  It doesn’t even faze her anymore.  In fact I’m pretty sure she finds it comforting.  The child has become highly desensitized to the supernatural horrors of the world that would leave lesser men in tears.

My wife on the other hand…  Well, lets just say she has a low threshold for horror and sometimes I am able to break her.  I don’t mean to, and I assure you I pay for it later.  But sometimes I break the poor woman.

When we were dating I had her watch “Darkness Falls” with me once.  It’s been ten years and she is still afraid of the dark, and it’s all my fault.  She has never let me forget that fact.

I shouldn’t take as much pride in that as I do.  :(