100% True Tales: Warping Young Minds
on November 30, 2012 at 3:00 amWarping young minds is my favorite activity. Honestly that’s why I became a parent in the first place.
Once a week I teach a bunch of young impressionable human larva about various esoteric theories about what happens after we are worm food. Take that however you will, it’s just what I do.
However, being an unrepentant smart ass sometimes I can’t help but throw in the occasional theory of my own I might have for my own amusement. When this strays outside the proscribed curriculum sometimes I get in a wee bit of trouble with the neighbors.
Okay, so I may have told a room full of eight year olds that the world was going to end December 21st and the zombies might rise up to devour mankind…. I also might have mentioned the need to resort to cannibalism….. and Okay I “May” have implied that some of them would make a delicious Bar-B-Que meal. Does that make me a bad person. Yes, yes it does.
Look I never claimed to be a good person. In fact perhaps my love of zombies stems somewhat from a nagging premonition of where I’m likely to end up once I shed this mortal coil. Becoming a zombie seems like a better alternative to brimstone.
Tell them that the alliance with the alien race called makers has been broken and that they willl atack on 2012 and everyone will die in a post apocaliptic world war 3 aliens during a zombie outbreak in an alternate dimension.
When all else fails, blame it on zombie ninja wizards. And exactly how much trouble did you get in for this one.
Think of how much schooling you would need to be a ninja and a wizard. All while having a severe learning disability of being a zombie.
That’s some pure determination you’d need to achieve that. I respect that.
You still didn’t answer my question.
Also forums.
My father has always enjoyed teasing me for being born on the darkest day of the year (“that explains a lot/your personality”).
The fact that 12.21.2012 is my 21st birthday just gives him that much more ammo this year.
Damn, that combined with the whole supposed 2012 end of the world thing is like a triple whammy.
Yyyyyyyyyep. It’s been a fun year, so far. XD We’ll see how bad it gets in the following weeks. >.>”
Yeah. If you ask me, if the world ends it will be because of all of the stupid people rioting because they think that they can get away with it because the world is going to end. Mark my words, the week before the 21st will be chaos.
There is nothing like warping young minds. I’ll save you a seat in Hell Carter
you sir, are my hero today. *applauds*
There are other options after we die, you realize. Some religions believe that the afterlife is a locked room where it’s just you, Roseanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnel, Dolly Parton (without her boobs), Anne Coulter, Maraget Thatcher and Carol Channing for all eternity.
And they’re all on their period.
Try demonstrating during show n’ tell why Easter was cancelled when the Easter Bunny got run over by a riding lawn mower. That gets you into more trouble.
Holy crap! I take a day of from the internets and that’s a lot of comments.
You guys are awesome.
If it makes anyone feel better, I basically repeated the events of today’s comics again. I think I’ll keep it up till December 22.
Then I’ll think of something else to warp young minds.
This one is great. I can’t stop laughing!