There Is No Right Answer To This Question
on October 10, 2012 at 3:00 amFor the record today’s zombie comic is inspired by a weird incident I had at a gas station yesterday. Since in addition to drawing a webcomic I like to blog about my life a bit I’ll share.
I thanked what I thought was a girl for opening the door at the gas station. Turns out it was a dude, who did not appreciate my honest mistake. He/she/it was less than pleased with me and flipped me off. (That’s always amusing to me btw) However, it’s not my fault, he had long hair, feminine features, and apparently his little sister’s clothes on.
Dude, it was an honest mistake, I’m not psychic, and if it truly bothers you cut your hair and grow a beard and wear something more manly.
Basically try to look as ruggedly manly as I do every single day of my ruggedly manly life. (If I say ruggedly manly enough, people might believe it)
It has been suggested I should have stared at the chestal region of this individual to determine their gender…. What! That’s madness! Has Jerry Seinfeild taught us nothing. Staring at Cleavage is like staring at the sun! You get a quick glance and then you look away lest you be destroyed. I simply was not willing to take the risk this day. If I had perhaps tragedy could have been averted… or not.
Well it won’t be the first nor the last time I’ll offend someone. I am aware that I’m kind of an ass. I’m working on it.
ok, since I feel sorry for you guys, Phrases That Can Save Your Life:
“I was just noticing how flattering that shirt is on you. That color is very flattering”
If you can be flattering without being vulgar, suddenly you go from creeper to prince charming and she is glowing for the rest of the day thinking she’s beautiful. Can be hard to balance between sounding like your complimenting your mother, or too far the other way and she’s reaching for pepper spray.
“Oh sorry, I was thinking my boyfriend/wife would love that outfit” works even if single male, throw her off. She’ll feel uncomfortable for accusing you. Downside is once you’ve declared your gay as a defense, you prob can’t ask her out.
If she’s wearing a necklace, ask her what it means and try to pretend interest as she explains. Nod and do your best to look her in eye while she’s talking. Falling asleep during this can get you hit with a blunt object.
Deflect the embarrassment, tell her you were trying to think of a polite way to tell her that her bra strap is showing, or wondering if you should keep mouth shut.
Use other primal needs, look at her like she’s an idiot and ask her to please move out of your view of the little debbie snacks.
Lol That is good advice. I’m going to try those rather than what I usually do.
I usually start sweating profusely, start twitching, and mutter “It put’s the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again!”
That usually ends the conversation pretty quick, but also contributed to my dateless status in highschool.
I prefer to devastate with self-conscious horror to flatter. Not that I’ve ever stared at a woman’s breasts, but if I did and she asked if I was staring at her breasts, I would just say “What breasts? I thought those were pimples.”
No no no. I’ve thought about this. If you get caught and she asks “Are you staring” at my breasts?”
The proper answer is “Why yes, they look different when from outside your window….in the bushes…. in the dark….with all my…friends” (Imagine voice getting lower, quiter, creepier and you’ll have it.)
Why does crap like that amuse me so much?
haha there’s a dude just like that lives in my building…!
You’re working on being more of an ass? Awesome!
Believe it or not I try to fight it. It just comes so natural to me.
Very funny.I enjoy this every time.
Well I hope so. You keep coming back, I’ll keep making them for you..