Zombie Fortress’s And Why You’re Going To Die
on August 31, 2012 at 3:00 amYour zombie fortress will be your doom. Don’t worry about the zombies outside, fear the survivors inside as they will be the one’s who will get you killed. I love zombie movies, but they always have this one overbearing flaw.
You find yourself super safe and secure in your zombie fortress, you have plenty of food and guns, and beverages of your choice. Life’s pretty good right? Just wait for the zombies to rot away.
Nope, because now you’ve got to worry about the people you are cooped up with and according to EVERY SINGLE ZOMBIE MOVIE I’ve ever seen it’s almost guaranteed that they are idiots.
- “Day of the Dead” has the character Miguel losing his crap and just letting all the zombies in to feast on everyone. They were perfectly safe till then.
- “Dawn of the Dead” the remake should get some sort of award for bone headed decisions that get people killed. There are too many to point out and everyone dies (Spoilers).
- Then of course there is the granddaddy of them all “Night of the Living Dead” the character Ben is the hero of the movie who boards up the house. That’s a good plan, but it’s actually Mr. Cooper who has the correct plan of staying in the safe basement. These two cant get along…. so everyone dies. (Spoilers)
I’ve determined that if I find myself in a zombie fortress during the coming zombie apocalypse the first time anyone starts making suggestions about going outside or they start looking like they’re going crazy. Bam! Back of the head with a hammer when no one is looking.
That’s simple self preservation….. totally not murder. Don’t you judge me.
On a minor note about today’s comic. The joke is actually on the “Nigerian Prince” as money will be utterly worthless during any type of zombie apocalypse.
hmm I had “Windows Technical Support” Call me to let me know my system was sending out viruses. Decided to play it shocked that my system was sending out viruses completely willing to help stop that from happening.
The guy wanted me to click on start and open a command window…Explained to him that I was having a hard time finding the start button. Went all over the screen with him explaining I wasn’t seeing the Start button. Asked if the Apple button was the same thing, he said yes and again tried to get me to click Run, Had him going for about 20 minutes listening to this guy get more and more frustrated and confused. Finally asked him how much about computers he knew, he said lots. I explained that he was lying since I have an Apple system and does not run Windows.
I asked for his supervisor, hoping someone else would come on or have some more fun with this dumb ass, but he hung up. Ah well 20 minutes of fun is better than none.
Can’t wait for a Nigerian Price scam to come my way.
That is awesome. People who try to screw over other should be punished. Sir, I congratulate you.
To be fair, Cooper’s plan seemed kinda lackluster to me.
The basement door is just as breakable as the others, but you could not escape from down there. Also, if I remember right, this particular basement had no windows or other means to check if it was safe again above the ground.
Within a week, the zombies smell better than the survivors; especially when they’re done having “OMG! I’m gonna die!” sex. That nasty stank will scare away even the heartiest zombie.
Cyrian, but at the end of the movie, the zombies get into the house, but are unable to get into the basement.
Ben eventually hides down there until the zombies leave…. then sadly gets shot in the head after being mistaken for a zombie.
See, he should have hid in that basement longer.
Sure, Ben gets “mistaken” for a zombie. That’s the guy’s story and he’s sticking to it.
Honest mistake, ossifer, with that complexion of his you just had to assume he was one of them there undead.