Admit it, you’ve thought of it. The perfect zombie apocalypse scenario. That special someone you like, zombies outside, and you just happen to be the only available mating option in the fortress of your choosing. Of course it goes without saying that you have ample supplies of food and ammunition…. and massage oil. (Look, I’m not here to judge you)
And then it all goes to crap as somebody way better looking than you shows up and you’re in “Zombie Apocalypse Friend Zone”
Now I grew up in the 80′s. If there is one thing I learned while watching an entirely inappropriate amount of horror movies for a child, it’s that in a horror movie only the two prettiest people survive. So if you end up in a scenario where “Manly Jim” is there, you have no choice but to quietly do away him. It’s your only hope.
Also if during the course of the zombie apocalypse you should find yourself trapped in the mall with a couple dozen supermodels…. and me…. and you happen to be better looking than I am. You probably sleep with one eye open. Just say’n.
Knowing you, Carter, you’d probably disguise yourself as a zombie to try and bled in and Bill Murray already showed us how well that can work out.
Forget blending in. I’m going full on zombie. With any luck I’ll be a boss zombie like Left 4 Dead.
I can’t believe how hard I laughed at this…
Awesome! I’m glad you liked it.
LOL – I hate pretty people … well men … as they are unfair competition.
“Now I grew up in the 80′s. If there is one thing I learned while watching an entirely inappropriate amount of horror movies for a child, it’s that in a horror movie only the two prettiest people survive. So if you end up in a scenario where “Manly Jim” is there, you have no choice but to quietly do away him. It’s your only hope.”
I really laughed at this because I too watched WAY TOO many inappropriate horror movies for my age in the 80′s … “Sleepaway Camp” I’m looking at you!
Maybe it’s because I was just very impressionable at that age, I don’t know, but the 80′s were a golden era for horror movies for some reason.
The 80′s were just a golden era…period! Could be the fact that I was a teenager in the 80′s but hey works for me!
I agree. 80′s were awesome on so many levels.
A golden era of horror movies and glam rock power ballads. With so much hair spray it was a fire hazard. I still remember Micheal Jackson’s hair catching on fire…. good times… good times.
Heck, Carter, you know as well as I do that we would make sure “Mr Manly” does not make it is for the best for all of us.
Future generations will need my smarts and sense of humour more than they’d need the ability to make their pectorals dance. Evolution demands Manly Jim die!
Too funny, too funny. Gotta make it look like an accident. or at least trust that the girl you’re with won’t be able to tell the difference between a pre-mortem and post-mortem zombie bite.
“I had to shot him, he was bit and I couldn’t let him suffer… oh and he said that he knew that we were a perfect match.. and he came out of the closet too.”
I picture you standing over his lifeless body with an innocent expression saying, “I think it was ghosts….. spooky”
“Would you believe… cancer?” (in Maxwell Smart voice)
Funny thing was you didn’t even need the explanation. I actually read it hearing Max’s voice.