From the mind of Uwe Boll and the wallet of a bunch of suckers comes Zombie Massacre! Oh Lordy, I cants waits fer this.
A nuclear blast from Uwe Boll and the Italian horror mafia! “Zombie Massacre” teaser is waking our desires – dark, futuristic and exploding of uber-cool FX! Orgh vargas!
Did you just read that friggin paragraph?!!! “Uber-cool FX!!!!” I mean that lady went from the picture of health to “HOLY CRAP GET ME AN ORTHODONTIST” in about ten seconds…
I had no idea that painfully obvious CG explosions caused such outrageously poor oral hygiene. I will from this moment on try to avoid radiation and/or microwaves from this day forward as I deeply fear spontaneous tooth growth and insta-rot.
I don’t want to make a blanket judgment on Uwe Boll’s movies (Mainly because he’s a boxer and could probably beat me up), but have you seen the turds this guy makes. The last zombie movie he made that I saw was “House of the Dead” after which I jammed a pencil into my ear in a vain hope that it would kill all the brain cells held the memories of that epic piece of cinematic offal. I should do a review of it to warn people from it, except I would have to see it again and the pain is still too fresh. (Hint: I didn’t care for “House of the Dead”)
I have no hope that “Zombie Massacre” isn’t going to be a massive steaming pile of fertilizer liberally spiced with broken dreams and shattered careers. That being said… I’ll probably still see it.
…Also sadly the pencil trick didn’t work, I did however forget my phone number for about six months.
Ähm… yes…
“dark futuristic and exploding of uber-cool FX! Orgh vargas!”
dark – Yupp, I see that.
futuristic – Where? Maybe the soldiers are cyborgs or robots? (would be cool)
expoding (- I hope so) of uber-cool FX – Give us more slo-mo, we couldn’t see how bad the effects were enough. I guess they took lessons from Birdemic…
Orgh vargas – Are those words?
Leave the sinking cinema! Women and andrgynous men first!
the zombies look a lot like the ghouls from the fallout games. though seeing how both are mutated by radiation into zombies, goes to figure.
I’ll have to watch it and pray there’s an explanation for the horrendous dental problems these mutant/zombies have. Poor mutant zombies, flossing must be hell.
Is this by any chance the Italian Uwe Boll movie Eaters? Cuz I’m about to watch that..despite Uwe Boll.
I don’t think so, Eaters has something to do with Nazi zombies, and I don’t see anything like that in this trailer.
Course it’s Hollywood, they could change anything at the drop of an overpaid film executives latte.