You’re not being paranoid, people (Or Zombies) really are out to get you.

So when someone knocks on your door begging to get in, sure it could be your Mom, Grandma, Kids, perhaps even the police, but it’s equally as likely to be a zombie just waiting to feast on your tasty tasty brain. Don’t take the chance, don’t open the door.

Sure I guess you could install some sort of peep hole, but come on that’s a lot of effort and involves using power tools. Best just to let your loved ones sleep out on the porch while you stay warm and inside playing video games and eating candy.

That’s an awesome zombie survival tip, I should charge for things like this.

Also this zombie portrait is of a friend of mine, he wanted to know what he would look like during the coming zombie apocalypse. Apparently he wont be shaving and mushrooms will be growing out of his back. I know what you’re thinking ladies (Damned sexy I know) but he’s married.

Sadly that’s one zombie who won’t be your boyfriend… unless you shoot his wife. You MONSTER! How could you even think of doing such a horrible thing! Ask me later and I’ll give you his address.