What’s creepier than the “Twilight Moms?”…. “Twilight DADS!!!”
on June 18, 2010 at 5:00 amPosted In: comics, Random Comics
And you thought the Twilight Moms were creepy. I bring you the Twilight Dads! Be afraid, be very afraid.
Edward Cullens better start running right now because the “Twilight Dads” are coming… And they likes it when you sparkle…. Ooh baby they likes it a lot.
Here’s a picture of the Twilight Mom’s in case that rock you live under doesn’t have access to the intertubes and you haven’t seen these creepy women.
I love drawing this webcomic. But if you were to read “The Zombie Nation” you would probably get from this comic that I don’t like “Twilight.”
Well, yeah, pretty much. But come on! How can you not be creeped out by these women who want to jump Edward Cullens?
The only thing creepier… The “Twilight Dads”.
AHHHH THE BURNING! MAKE IT STOP! I NEED AN ADULT!
-nod- I agree so much with the caption under the picture. Fie on Twilight! “Oh, I don’t want people to think I’m a monster.” You glitter in sunlight rather than bursting into flame! Trust me sugarpop, no one is going to think you are a vampire.
Pretty undead never sat right with me, I mean it’s the whole fantasy that you can be more than human without some sort of price tag. This is why I prefer the original vampires. And unless I’ve been deceived, the further back you go, the more vampires look just like zombies. I undertsand the first legend is that it was a corpse that would come out the ground, eat people, than go back into it’s grave before sun-up.
So bow down to your granddaddy vampires! Zombies own the rights to your existence!
Anarchy, Only your Doctor can make it stop…. And Antibiotics.
Tsapki, agreed. Vampires should be hideous monsters who remind us of humanity’s deep seated fears of Death and Cannibalism… Not sexy glittery heart throbs.
Please pay no attention to the really hot vampire chick character I have in the strip. That way I don’t sound like a hypocrite.
Actually if its possible I want to get a T shirt with Team Billy bob on it and go to the Twilight premiere…well I’m not going to wear it..I’m going to give it to my friend to wear whilst I roll a camera for youtube.
Wait people fear death and cannibalism? Was not aware of this, by the way Zombie love your comic so far I just started reading it like a couple weeks ago. So far I love the black and white style and the highly stylized general style of a oh nuance of retro simplicity and elegance. Kudos to you friend, I tip my hat to you.
Anarchy, that would be cool. I wonder if I’d get sued for making a shirt like that. Might be worth it for the chuckles.
Jermiah, people do fear that, I have no idea why… madness.
Thanks for the compliments. I’m having a really good time drawing this webcomic, makes me happy that other people like it too.
Haha so right^^
Went to a free ticket give-away thingi for a Twilight-fan event that’s going of now this month here in Stockholm whit one of my pals (its a pretty big one to, whit concerts, two of the actors and behind the scenes showings and more). we both had teem Dracula shirts and man those fangirls seriously wanted to kill us xD
Waited out one night just to get those dame tickets and they and now on sale for a pretty high price today
mohahaha…
(but the saddest thing was that there had been fangirls that had camped outside three days before just to get “vip” tickets :S)
ZC brother I hear ya. I was rolling when I saw the gimp in the back with the thought bubble, just wrong on so many levels. I still don’t get the sparkly vampire thing, I forced myself to watch a half hour of the 2nd movie before I rolled my eyes in disgust and left my wife and daughter to finish it. Give me zombies, Vlad II Dracul, and other demon spawn any day.
I think you should visit this little link, and stop the horrid disembowelment of the english language.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
Don’t you have english friends who can check on your grammar before you publish a comic?
P.S.
I like the comic, in fact.
Thanks, but you’re right. I misspell that all the time. I need to go back and fix it.
I get a tonne of crap over that. Fortunately I have skin like a frick’n Rhino so it doesn’t bother me too bad.
Ah, Twilight. The romantiv story of a girl’s choice between beastiality or necrophilia.
Alternative comment: Stephenie Meyer stated the she willingly diverted from the way vampires are usually depicted. just like Tolkien diverted from te usuall picture of humans before e created the orcs.
I could go on like that for days.^^
There is an amazing amount of Twilight hate out there. I love to gripe about it… and I hate it when my wife points out how much money Stephanie Myer has made.
It’s hard for me to argue with that. She is more successful than I will ever be…. sadness.
Yes, Stephenie Myer makes more money than most of us could ever hope to accrue. So do mob bosses, oil company executives, the Jonas Brothers, bribe taking politicians, etc. You know you likely made money we can imagine and compare to? The man who cured polio and gave the cure out for free.
Just saying….
Cool, except now I feel this weird urge to find a way to make my comic cure diseases. Maybe I’ll just make it up.
It’s official “The Zombie Nation” cures rabies!
That would be awesome.
Anarchy, I’ve seen “Team Edward” t-shirts, that have Eddie Munster on them. The Twilight fangirls will probably freak out over those, too.
As what you would class, a “Twilight Mom”, I have a few thoughts on this subject. I really enjoyed the books, and the sweet, yearning love they convey. Classing all over 30 women who happen to have kids, and like Twilight, in a category of “couger”, or comparing them to 40 year old men perving over 17 year old girls insulting. Firstly Robert Pattinson the actor, is over 20. Secondly, Edward Cullen, the character is waaaaaaaay over 17 years old in the book (over 100 years in fact). Thirdly, a man, whether he’s 17, 25, 30 or 40 who pervs over a 17, 25 30 or 40 year old woman, is thinking different thoughts to a woman. In general. And a woman who likes Twilight, as I mentioned before, is hearkening back to a simpler more innocent time in her life. Fourthly, the writer herself fits the demographic of the Twilight Mom.
Wait, I’m confused…. Does this mean you don’t approve of my Undying love of Edward Cullens?
Look, Sharon, Edward “gets” me. We have a bond that judgmental types can never understand. (I promised myself I wouldn’t cry)
Who are you to deny our love? (Oh, Edward, hold me)
Just Kiddinng, It’s just a joke, Sharon. If you like Twilight, that’s completely fine. My wife likes it too and gives me crap for the silly things I like all the time.
But come on, there’s no “Sacred Cows” out there. It should also be fine for me to poke some fun at it too. I’m fairly certain that my insignificant comic does not invalidate everything you hold near and dear.
But can you imagine if it did. Great Cthulhu! The power I would hold over peoples lives then! I would be a GOD! Bwa ha ha ha.
Ah dang it! My wife thought that last comment sounded “Snarky” That’s not how I meant it.
Sorry, Sharon, promise I’m not trying to be a jerk.
Edward really does “get me” though. (He’s so dreamy)
I on the other hand have no such quarrels about being snarky and no one to hold me back. Carter mind if I take a swing at that one? I promise to be very articulate about it and not swear once.
At Sharon I mean.
Okay, I get it. Men who like Twilight are possibly a bit (lot) weird. My husband doesn’t get it at all, and in fact thinks it’s out of character for me to like the books as much as I do.
Just think, if you were a GOD, you could bend Edward Cullen to you will (after making him come to life from the books), and keep him as your slave!
…Ma’am you are aware that Bela Lugosi, Bram Stoker and the creators of every single very last Vampire creator in the Decades leading up to the Creation of Twilight roll over in their graves when people talk about Edward the Vampire…. and I have already stated the case that Twilight is indeed just a bad fanfiction rewritten Underworld plot. In the face of all this evidence we can say that Stephen Meyer dosen’t know sfa about vampires or werewolves or the mythology behind them that has made them fierce icons of Horror to date.
spelling amendment to that last one: “The creators of every last vampire story movie or novel in the decades leading up to the creation of Twilight roll over in their graves”
Just in case clarification was needed on my reasons for disliking Twilight, I think it removes the most important things about vampires…weaknesses.
I’m not saying that every vampire needs to have weaknesses because they are abominations that much be destroyed, but I am saying that without flaws, you destroy the most important part of a character. I’ve never read a Twilight book (though females friends of mine have quoted plot and storyline) and never plan to, so might I ask, is there anything in any of the books about werewolves or vampires, that would harm one of them but not harm a human? Does silver still hurt werewolves, do religious icons or certain herbs have any repelling effect on vampires? I just look at it say say “Wow, being a vampire is easier than being human…”
My worldview allows for vampires in fantasy that are all sorts of powerful and more importantly, able to go pass the viewpoint of humans as cattle, but it does not allow for it to be so simple. But the same virtue, I also like to think of zombies that can do the same thing, try to curb hunger, hide what they are and so on. Who knows, maybe if I read Twilight I might like it, but on the surface it just seems…wrong to me.
To sum it up, I just look at what little I know about Twilight and say to myself that there is so little remaining from the original stock that I can barely identify Twilight vampires as vampires. I would literally have believed when I first saw the commercials and if someone decided to play a joke on me, that they were not vampires, but demigods or aliens that get a kick out of convincing normal people they are vampires because they have a few similarities. And it makes me wonder, would the story be anywhere so compelling if the label vampire and werewolf were never used in it? Vampire, by it’s very origin, is something dark and forbidden, frightening and alluring, cultured and savage, at the same time.
Sharon, though I do not agree with what you say, I respect your resolve to defend your viewpoint in the face of our smothering disdain of Twilight.
As do I. I still say Edward is just a sparkling gay man though
Unless, Bella has been hiding something in all four novels I’m pretty sure Edward isn’t gay…. Sparkling while odd doesn’t necessarily make him “Dabble in the love that dare not speak it’s name.”
But Tsapki I think just helped me understand why I don’t approve of Stephanie Myer’s vampires. They are perfect. They don’t fear sunlight, don’t worry about crosses, garlic doesn’t bother them, ect…
The one single flaw would be thirst, but Edward is so perfect he is even able to overcome that. The character is written to be perfect and has nothing major (Other than he knows Bella is tasty) to overcome in the course of the story.
I don’t know why that should irk me so bad, possibly because I am a deeply flawed individual and I know it. Envy then? Jealousy? Sparkly? (Sigh, I obsess over questions like this)
Right we can solve this and go back to our comedic ways (which is the way we should stay and avoid all the rawr grrrrr of serious discussions) if we all just follow my old tried and true theory about Twilight. Bella is a man formerly from the soviet union her name formerly was IvanIvan Ivanovich and that Edward and Jacob are gay and just teasing Bella.
Thanks guys for allowing me to air my humble opinion in a respectful atmosphere (in spite of all the anti-Twilightism). I’m glad I chose this page as the one to make my views known.
Being a purist myself in most things, I too was surprised when I read the books, that Edward’s vampire teeth didn’t give Bella a clue as to what kind of weird he was (they don’t seem to have visible fangs). And the fact that they can be outside in the sun etc. But after a while I forgave her, and sort of admired the author for breaking the conventional rules. And not just because she was brave, but because she actually made it work, and didn’t do it arrogantly. Interview with the Vampire is one of my favourite movies, and I’ve sort of grown up reading different vampire fiction so I get your points regarding Bella Lugosi, Bram Stoker etc.
But. With Twilight, and Edward’s character, for the first time I really felt what it would feel like to feel the need to drink blood. I got so much more out of the books (and I don’t class the movies in this assessment except as an accessory to the books) than I’ve ever done before. I suppose because the combination of the vampire being in a gentle, angst filled love story called to me. Being an introvert myself, I also enjoy Bella’s and Edward’s characters, and get more out of a thinky, feelingy, introspective kind of book than one that is purely action.
Also, I don’t get the attacks on her writing style. I read books like Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series, and find his writing style extremely immature (but still enjoy reading the books). I’ve never thought Stephany Myer’s writing style immature or in any way lacking. To me, it’s engaging, honest, funny, and completely supports the story line.
Ok, now regarding the vampires having no weaknesses… I would agree that to many, the books might be considered better if they weren’t labelled vampires (actually the “werewolves” are not werewolves in Twilight, but shapeshifters who just so happen to turn into wolves). Many people would not be so up in arms about it all. I don’t really see how she could have done that though, as the integral part of the story is the need to drink blood. And by that classification, and also the immortality, and extreme speed and strength, feel that thy are indeed vampires. Their weakness I would say, is their conscience. Also, the older vampires do not allow them to run amok killing indiscriminately. The shapeshifters are humans becoming shapeshifters when the need arises to protect other humans from them.
Oh and Tsapki, I would agree that “Vampire, by it’s very origin, is something dark and forbidden, frightening and alluring, cultured and savage, at the same time.” And to me, you’ve just described Edward Cullen.
Zombie Carter, I think you’re right about the perfection thing. Maybe that’s why men might not take Edward seriously. He’s a little bit hard to compete with isn’t he? Sort of how I feel about men liking Manga.
I’m still amazed that how passionate people feel about Twilight, both for and against.
But BTW, thanks everyone for keeping this debate pretty civil. I didn’t have to edit or delete a single post so far.
You guys are awesome.
PS Carmella Dracull wouldn’t feel the need to kick Edward Cullen’s kiester (whatever that is). She’d be too busy trying to pick her slavering jaw off the floor once she’d caught a glimpse of his shimmering loveliness.
Vlad Dracul nicknamed Vlad the impaler where the vampire legend and Dracula stories originated. Look him up dude was terrifying. and though Carmella would be slavering Dracula would already be turning him into the drink of the day.
Also I’m somewhat sorry Sharon I’m of a policy that you get to do what you want its your life have fun. Its just that Twilight has taken something from the world of geeks and horror and twisted it smelted it into something…..frilly…with like little pink hearts… Vampires are supposed to be blood thirsty skulkers in the night an evil incarnate… not some sparkling pretty boy with dietary issues!
Hey, I get what you’re saying. It’s sort of a commercialisation of something sacred. And it’s not just the vampire commercialisation that’s the problem, but the warped version of them too. I guess if I didn’t get anything out of Twilight, I’d probably feel an approximation of what you do. I’ve had another think about the whole thing after your last post, and I’d say that it’s very much a gender thing. I’ve always understood the female attraction to vampires (long before all these rubbish vampire adult women’s books came out). For various reasons. Now we have Edward, who doesn’t have cobwebs, sleep in a coffin, or kill indiscriminately. Most of the attributes a male might like about vampires have been eliminated, leaving the traits that are attractive to women. Dangerous bad boy, immortal who although he’s lived a long time has never wanted a girl/woman in his life before, etc.
I went to Midnight Sun (the unreleased beginning of the book from Edward’s perspective) to try to get a bit of vampire behavior to show you. Just to give a little bit of an indication of his vampire traits. Don’t shoot me! I really just want you to understand a bit more, what we see in Twilight. I don’t look down on normal vampires and feel they should all be like Edward now. I just get so much out of the books, and would hope that in the interests of allowing us women to have something, that you don’t, jokes aside, feel too aggrieved by it.
“I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest row in the back. I would take my right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; they would not see me coming. Moving around the front and back up the left side, it would take me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room.
Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her to feel fear. Long enough, maybe, if shock didn’t freeze her in place, for her to work up a scream. One soft scream that would not bring anyone running.
I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my dry veins, burning out from my chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of.
She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit down inches away from me.
The monster in my head smiled in anticipation.”
And in response I say What bloody well stopped you? A lack of follow through! that being besides the point if hes in sunlight he should be little sparkly bits on the wind. I’m sorry but that monologue sounds like someone took the idea of Hannibal Lecter and applied his psyche with a lack of proper motivation.
Because he’s a vampire from a woman’s perspective. And we like him more with the iron self-control he has, in spite of his intense desires.
Iron self control? Lack of proper dietary consumption I do believe are the words you were searching for. Basically what Meyer has done is taken the known vampire lore and punched its sainted mother in the face.
And finally I direct you to something with well placed arguments as to why twilight is annoying. This video is a product of someone who has read the books
Hopefully Zombie Carter doesn’t mind if i post that link here if you do mind then please feel free to delete it
Hmm. Well placed arguments. So just because someone read the books (which I grant you gives them a bit more perspective than you have), clearly hated them (may even have read them just to rant about them), and posted 29 “arguments” as to why it sucks (I’m not even going to argue with any of them as I just don’t have the energy to defend 29 pathetic insults), you feel compelled to believe them, and more importantly to use them instead of your own arguments.
Strange, I thought you were older than you clearly are.
You call them well placed arguments and then contradict that with then calling them pathetic insults. and I am old I just felt that since I was not adequately versed in your world I would consult then with someone who has read the books and seen the movies. Searching for alternate sources of information is key. I believe in drawing my information from both sources.
P.S Take a guess as to how old you think I am.
Also my apologies to Zombie Carter I do believe we have hijacked the site for a purpose that it was not particularly intended for. If you would wish that we stop this little discussion merely say the word and you shall hear no more of it from me.
Sorry, Anarchy, I should have put my “Well placed arguments” sentence in quotes as I was just musing on the fact that you thought they were well placed. And in fact arguments.
I don’t really think you’re going to see any other side to this debate though. Researching something by going to what is very obviously an anti-the-subject source, is not really the way to breakthrough understanding.
Perhaps all that I can hope for is that you perhaps understand a little bit more about Twilight and what it means to so many of the (mainly) female population instead of just vilifying it for what it does for the purity of vampires?
That should read “vilifying it for what it does to the purity of vampires.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penanggalan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aswang
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula
Those are vampires. Its something called folklore, and the mythology from whence they came. Now then as you are refusing to address any of the points that were shown I shall assume that you cannot counter attack them with logic. So then I pose a conundrum to ya, A riddle if you will: What if any counter arguments do you have for that video?
But all this aside I have my opinion and you have yours. Obviously neither of us are willing to budge on the issues so lets just move on then shall we?
Well I was going to say that if you were really interested in my responses to the 29 “reasons”, then I would make the effort to answer all of them. To my mind they are all rubbish, except perhaps for the fangirls who are annoying whenever they appear, even when it’s not for Twilight. Luckily I’m not in America, but in South Africa, and as far as I know, kids don’t go that overboard here. Then again, teens will be teens.
One thing I will say about you is that although you do not have that much information on Twilight and are arguing about it (which would normally make me see red), I can tell that you genuinely feel that it’s an insult to the original vampire that Stepheny Meyer didn’t stick to the recipe, and that’s what’s got you upset. So I can sort of respect that.
Aye well I’m in Canada not to put bad spin on Canadians also go you your hosting the fifa cup good on you my country can’t seem to make it past the qualifying rounds. As stated before I have my opinion and you have yours but on the whole it was a fun little debate. People around here though do tend to get overzealous with a lot of the twilight stuff and it drives me mad.
So in closing go Team Billy Bob and Team Edward Elric
Ha ha! I’m not sure South Africa would have made it if we didn’t get our free hosting pass either. Although we have made it in a few times.
Glad we could agree to disagree!