Explaining to children that since there’s no more room in hell and therefore they will sadly walk the cursed earth forever as one of the living dead is possibly the proudest moment a parent can have.
Cherish these moments parents, because your children grow up so fast. (I promised myself I wouldn’t cry… sob… It’s just soooo biter sweet.)
You’ve got to start them young. This kid is cute, and really likes “Plants Vs. Zombies.” Clearly he is giving a very positive review to that game. He has good taste.
I’m just proud of his father for desensitizing his child to the mind numbing horror of the undead. When the zompocalypse happens, he’ll thank you… Provided your still alive.
Another great find by “The Zombie Nation” Citizen #1 Ladybelle…. Thanks.
By Michael Thomas Ford, published by Ballantine comes the true tale of Jane Austen…. As a vampire…. an awkward awkward British Vampire.
Oh crap! An awkward British writer as a vampire, and she’s still around. I better stop poking fun at these books, before I get killed in the middle of the night…. by Jane Austen.
Will somebody please rewrite Mark Twain’s terribly boring… oh so boring books.
Suck it, Jane Austen fans! Because the desperate jumping on the band wagon of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” continues with “Mansfield Park and Mummies.”
From the publisher:
Spinsterhood or Mummification!
Ancient Egypt infiltrates Regency England in this elegant, hilarious, witty, insane, and unexpectedly romantic monster parody of Jane Austen’s classic novel.Our gentle yet indomitable heroine Fanny Price must hold steadfast not only against the seductive charms of Henry Crawford but also an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh!
Meanwhile, the indubitably handsome and kind hero Edmund attempts Exorcisms… Miss Crawford vamps out… Aunt Norris channels her inner werewolf… The Mummy-mesmerized Lady Bertram collects Egyptian artifacts…
There can be no doubt that Mansfield Park has become a battleground for the forces of Ancient Evil and Regency True Love!
(Oh noesssss!!!, Not an Ancient Egyptian Pharoah! I hate those guys) Jane Austen, your frustrated tears nourish the black empty pit I call my soul.
I love it!
I bet this book is actually about midget women with excessive leg hair.
….hmmm They must be running out of Jane Austen books to do mashups with, because I bring you “Little Women and Werewolves!”
No no no, I know what your thinking, but this does not have a single excessively hairy midget woman in it. (I know, I’m disappointed too.)
From the Publisher:
Fantasy and sci-fi publisher Del Rey gets in on the trend with its soon-to-be-published “Little Women and Werewolves,” positioned as the “original draft” of Louisa May Alcott’s classic novel as she meant to tell it. Here, the Marsh girls and their friend Laurie “prowl the night on all fours, maiming and devouring the locals.”
We need to remake all of these classics, not just the Jane Austen one’s. I can’t wait until somebody makes a mashup of “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” I hated that damned book in highschool.
I would have liked it much more if it would have been “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and the PROBING aliens.” (I just realized how dirty that sound, never-the-less I refuse to retract that statement.)
Bruce Campbell, is a stud and I desperately want his Autograph? I’m not sure what one does with an autograph, perhaps like taking a picture it captures a piece of one’s soul, binding it forever to an object.
Perhaps then that is what I truly want, a piece of Bruce Campbell’s soul to keep for my vary own.
“Wow, that’s awesome! I think I just became a crazy stalker!” I’m going to hang out in the bushes in front of his house, naked, and muttering to myself.
Yeah, you heard me…… NAKED! And covered in pudding.
Your minding your own business, sleeping, and suddenly ZOMBIES!!! But you have stupidly left your shotgun in your other pants (It could happen). Well, what do you do? What… do… you… do?
With this zombie defense nightstand your never unarmed. This handy nightstand instantly converts to a handy shield and club perfect for smashing the heads of your unwanted and undead intruders.
If you get attacked at night you may look pretty silly fighting zombies in your underwear though. That’s why I always sleep in full medieval plate armor, not just because of zombies, but because I look damned sexy doing it.
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