I was unaware that only virgins made it into heaven.
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Archive for ‘January, 2010’
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Just because your one of the living dead, eternally damned to walk the earth in a rotting shell hungering for human flesh does not mean things can’t get worse…. It can always get worse, right? That’s right.
So your a zombie but you have no teeth. So what. See these zombies aren’t thinking. Just do what grandpa does with his steak. Blender and a straw…mmmm now that’s good eat’n.
You know what?, I don’t like vampires, more to the point I don’t like pretty vampires. They are supposed to be monsters not horny sex objects ready to have their sweaty way with you. I’ve always hated that.
So when everyone around me gets obsessed with those twilight books, something in me gets super angsty about it and draws this. This is how the vampires should have looked…. Ugly.
Now before all you overly emotional women (and effeminate men) who have decided that Edward is you one true love come to lynch me be aware…. I read the books, they were not bad… not super awesome either, but not bad.
That movie Twilight, however, sucked donkeys in no uncertain terms. I’ve seen thousands of movies and this one sucked. Bad acting, lame directing, and the most boring vampires I have ever seen. In the book Stephanie Myers constantly goes on about how fast and strong the vampires are. Do you see that in the movie? Barely. Is there any tension or drama… No. Good hell the bad vampire were so unintimidating I’m pretty sure even my little daughter could have kicked his @$$.
Sorry fangirls, and effeminate fanmen, face it. That movie sucked.
In terms of villains to fight in video games you can’t really go wrong with zombies or Nazis. Neither one of these two groups are going to get much sympathy as being too picked on. Now you put those two together and you’ve got villains for your games that just keep on giving.
You can happily blast Nazi Zombies without the least pain of conscionse that your oppressing or being insensitive to some poor undeserving group or another. It’s guilt free slaughter that lets you sleep like a baby…. a baby with carpel tunnel syndrome. What could be better.
I’m really excited about the zombie destruction in the next Call of Duty game…. Can you tell?
On a side note I’m really happy with how I rendered the Nazi Zombie dude. I get a much better look when I’m not using the airbrush tool in photoshop. Have to keep practicing.
P.S.
If your a “Zombie rights activist” please send your hate mail to zombiecarter @ gmail.com and we’ll discuss it.
If your a Skinhead who wants to complain about my unfair treatment of your heros… Get a job, grow your hair out, and do something about the ridiculous amount of tattoos on your face. That doesn’t look cool it’s just gross.
I can think of worse ways to die, but I can’t think of any more embarassing.
For those of you who don’t know our good friend David Carradine has passed away due to “Complications” from Auto-erotic Asphyxiation (He hung himself AND his junk from a closet door)……. gross. Apparently Mr. Carradine was a bit kinky and would do this often, there was also some question of cross dressing and Lingerie.
Okey dokey! Well to each there own I guess.
I used to watch Mr. Carradine all the time on “Kung Fu Theater” which was awesome and he was hilarious as Frankenstein in “Death Race 2000.” If you haven’t seen the original you must. It’s part of your cultural heritage.
Anyway, welcome to The Zombie Nation Mr. Carradine. Unfortunately zombies don’t need to breath so there will not be anymore “slappy fun time” for you. Sorry about that.
