I love doing these. Although for this one I’m sure I’m going to get some crap for.
Look, Goth people, before you get upset and your mascara starts to run, it’s a joke. Just a joke. I’m sure your choice in fashion truly does express your inner sadness and proclaims to the world that you are unique (just like everyone else). I’m not judging you. This is just a joke.
Truth be told until the restraining order forced me to stop I truly enjoyed hanging out at the mall and “accidently” strolling past the “Hot Topic” store some forty odd times a day with a creepy glazed expression and slow trickle of druel coming from my mouth…
Goth girls are perdy.
Anyway, in case your still upset and your tired of endlessly listening to your “My Chemical Romance” collection feel free to send me an e-mail and tell me what an @$$ I am. However, I should warn you you won’t be the first and I guarantee you won’t be the last to say it.
This is a chance to put those awesome poetry skills to use!
Gleeee! Lets see if you can hate me more than my EX!
You know, you really suck. I show up at your house one time like that and I never here the end of it.
BTW where’s you zombie chart, lazy?
What? I told you that I thought you looked very pretty and that you were still the most manly of men and that at no point was I going to question your heterosexuality. I lied, but I still told you that. Don’t I get any points for that?
Does that make you feel better?
Still working on the chart…not lazy…just… distracted by bright shiny objects.
You still suck.
No points for you.
Got my first hate mail for this one! Gleeeeeeeeeee!
Rosco, this e-mail is either from a very angry goth girl with a wonderfully foul mouth or you’ve been getting in touch with your feminine side again. I choose to believe this e-mail is from you “In Drag.”
p.s. I don’t think some of the things she feels I should do to myself are even physically possible… Ouch!
I’ll forward it to you.
Is that the special power this boss has working for her? Making men want to try those physically impossible things and killing themselves while she doesn’t life a finger?
LOL I think it’s a special power that ALL women have, be they alive or undead, to get men to do silly, painful, and life threatening things. I’ve been married for a while now, trust me, I don’t wear the pants in the family…. and to be honest I’m pretty happy with that.
As for Rosco, well I love him cause he’s my brother (at least that’s what the DNA tests said), but lets just say he ate a lot of lead paint when we were children. So if you think about it, he has a special weekness to doing things that are kinda dumb.
Ha! This is the best. I’d totally marry you for this if it wouldn’t be so wrong to do so over the internet (and since you’re already married).
While I appreciate the compliment, it’s true, that probably wouldn’t work out, my lovely wife would do things to me that would make a serial killer cringe. She’s fiesty that way.
But not to worry, I’m secretly working on new cloning technology that when perfected will allow me to ship copies of myself around the world for everyone to marry. YEAH ME!!!
Pay no attention to the nay sayers who imply that I’m doing so merely to get a vast army of my clones in place to take over the world…. um.. yeah… why would I want to do that? MADNESS!!! (Looks shifty and runs away at this point)
Your not -> You’re not
I can’t spell. I need to go back and fix all the times I made that mistake.