Happy independence day everyone… Unless your British. Then it’s probably “Happy Ungrateful Tea Ruiners Day.” Honestly I have no idea how they feel about it.
Regardless, it’s a day where many Americans spend their day sweating in the heat watching parades with terrible terrible….. TERRIBLE candy being thrown at them and then in the evening we watch very expensive fireworks go off.
Long bouts of shouting “oooooooohhhhh” and “aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh” are mandatory.
I hate being hot with a singular hate that eclipses the very sun in it’s intensity. So this is sort of a grueling holiday for me. I long ago stopped caring about fireworks and nasty salt water taffy so it’s not super fun for me. Essentially I have become a bitter old crank. It’s what I do, It’s what I’m all about.
But I have a tiny daughter (human larva) who hasn’t yet become as bitter and jaded as her father yet. So I’m required to accompany her out in the unbearable heat this weekend.
I pray for death.